Just Undiscovered

1000 Words

2012-09-08T01:00:00.186-05:00

All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible. This I did. ~T. E. Lawrence~

A Thousand Words… More Like A Thousand Characters

Tell us about yourself, an about me page, or maybe even a biography; all of this to say who are you and the truth is… I don’t know. Now if I am to waste more time, more words, and my allotted characters in wherever you are seeing this I much rather tell you a story.

I have never been one to lie; lies are for The Abomination so I will begin with the truth and the truth is, I’m a loser. You may think I am looking down on myself, something else The Abomination taught me but didn’t I just call him a liar; interesting story so far isn’t it. The truth is this is only the first page, the page of a book you will never read, from an author you will never know, and yet I truly believe that when I am dead these words will do someone some good, monetarily speaking of course because they have never helped me.

I want to tell you a story… a story about love, you might find that here; I could tell you about a girl that for me like Juliet to Romeo showed me what true beauty is, I could tell you about a love greater than anything you dared to dream, and I could share with you my broken heart. The day in which this is written makes me want to tell you a story about power, about the empire I wish to rule someday, about the fame or the infamy I wish to gain, and about the vengeance that will be taken one day against The Abomination. The most important thing of all is the fact that I want to tell you a story, I want you to know the truth, I want you to know me, and sad as it is to say or maybe not I want to be paid for it for I have nothing else to offer the world.

Tell you about me but the thing is you don’t care, if you do care it will be what you will make of me, and barring all that I don’t know but I’m trying, I’m trying real hard to know me; not the man in the mirror but the man behind the man. I will need more than a thousand characters, more than a thousand words; I will need to repossess me, I need to tell you a story.

Month of February

~Beautifully Strange~

~Mr. Lonely~

~The Switch~ (Journal Entries)

Nothing More Beautiful

~Reality Is Overrated~

~The Thing Behind The Mirror~

Eyes Only ~Entrance~

2012-09-08T00:00:00.044-05:00

Nothing More Beautiful ~Entrance~

2012-09-07T23:00:00.038-05:00

Beautifully Strange ~Entrance~

2012-09-07T22:00:00.013-05:00

The Switch ~Entrance~

2012-09-07T21:00:00.006-05:00

Mr. Lonely ~Entrance~

2012-09-07T19:00:00.002-05:00

Girls I Can Never Have... Ever ~Entrance~

2012-09-02T18:00:00.003-05:00

Lesson 125 ~ Pulse Sate Thing~

2012-02-13T11:10:00.004-06:00

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Lesson 125 ~Pulse Sate Thing~

Hey Lady Lu...
Do you feel that… shit “Down With The Sickness” I suppose you are given that I want to talk about it and for once I mean my actual health. Not only that my dear, yeah I know it never is that simple, what about my obsession, my confession, and my misdirection but of course none of this is new but really I didn’t “Hurt” myself today.

Sometime last week I got this sharp pain on my right side, don’t ask me where it started or how; Hardee’s and all that talk about getting my food handler’s card but relax if you like them Luna which we don’t, I ate at McDonald’s. You know I have been thinking about Appendicitis, yes it has hurt that much but other than the pain, no fever and no blood but still I know the disease and that scares me… could it be “I Don’t Wanna Die”? So why am I talking about something so mundane with you; because you feel that don’t you, my pulse, god how I wish I could lay my head in your lap if you weren’t some figment of my imagination, yeah I tend to get snippy when I’m hurting or suicidal but not right now.

What about that other pulsating, yeah we’re here so no one but to put it out there I love my porn; do you remember when I was so afraid of that website Motherless and while I was never afraid what about Tubaholic, Xvideos etc. As for my confession I have been a very bad “thing” whatever it is that I am and I’m making stupid mistakes, reckless, maybe even fatal and isn’t that the sign of a true problem. It could be that I haven’t had a porno day in quite awhile, you remember porno day Luna, maybe tomorrow hmm… but seriously I might have to go all “40 Days and 40 Nights”.

So what have I learned today… I’m really worried about this pain, you know I love Braxton and I would never want him to suffer but the family has left until Sunday… usually very awesome but what if something really happens to me and oh yeah maybe I should give you know what a rest. Final thought “If You Want Blood (You Got It)” let’s just hope I’m not dead yet, that will be the sign, for now I will have to deal with the Pulse Sate Thing.

LATE

Snitching About Love

2011-12-11T15:50:00.000-06:00

Cinch… sure thing
Love only the beginning
For you I have been dreaming of
An addiction, you are my drug
And as long you don’t go
To rehab I say no, no, no

Inch… instead of miles
You make me smile
Closer to tease
Little more to please
Like heaven to touch
Your love a must

Pinch… is this real
You’re really here
Right here, tonight
In the morning light
Not only just a dream
But real for me

Niche… your place
How my heart does race
Pitter pat
There is nothing that I lack
Lying here with you
Alone us two

Wishes… come true
If only you knew
Now that you’re so near
I’ll whisper in your ear
Tell you all the time
With each and every line

I love you, I love you, I love you
That is the truth
Only you and no one else
Just want you for yourself

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Angelic Laughter...

2011-12-05T14:00:00.000-06:00

To make light of love… giggle
A puppet on your string
The signal
What do you mean?
How can this be?
You cut me from above
And I’m falling
To make light of love

Watching you wiggle
Line after line it seems
About how you jiggle
I’m just not funny
But honey
Am I not trying hard enough?
Maybe I’m just a dummy
To make light of love

Is the truth so fickle?
My thoughts for a penny
Paying a nickel
A date with me
Why are you laughing?
Something beautiful to touch
Must be joking
To make light of love

Or loving
An angel from above
Such is my comedy
To make light of love

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Salvation Lies Sleeping

2011-11-27T12:00:00.002-06:00

Salvation and sin
Enough
To live
Here lies my love

Sleeping
The rest is peace
Reliving
Indeed there is no need
For I look upon a goddess
Bathed in a brand new day
And to be honest
I fear your wake

Dreaming
Heaven is where we are
Or so it’s been seeming
When you stole my heart
Perhaps a siren
With your next song
Might cease my admiring
You’ll be gone

Breathing
Are there last words to say?
Heart skips beating
You take my breath away
Yet my flower you grow
More beautiful by the minute
So please don’t go
Just be within it

Playing
That smile
Lying here, staying
Would be worth a thousand miles
But now
Could we
By each other found
Play footsy

Praying
Heaven and Hell decide
I’m worth saving
As you lie beside
You’re my angel
This love our world
Don’t let your feet dangle
Please be my girl

Call in love or sin
Sweet Salvation
Even until the end
Happily ever after

Amia Moretti aka Amia Miley Bus Stop Fuck

2011-11-17T17:20:00.000-06:00

Amia Moretti aka Amia Miley Glasses Teen Girl Fucked Old Man

2011-11-17T17:15:00.000-06:00

Slip of the Tongue

2011-11-16T19:05:00.001-06:00

Dying this not speaking
Enveloped by your eyes
It must be so interesting
That finally this is not a lie

Ever since I first saw you
“Ugly” no now listen…
Good no Et tu
Now you are a sexy young vixen
Obsessed I overshoot
Love no tricks and then

Surprise, surprise I just died
Expressions of love… too erotic
In a heartbeat I’d…
Like, love, lust, are hearts tectonic

You might never be enough
Lover was that um…
Every time I hope not to be so gruff
Villain and monster, goodness have none
Only obsessed and overdone
Lady now use your tongue

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lucy Heartfilia

2011-11-16T17:15:00.009-06:00

The Indivisible Invisible

2011-11-16T14:25:00.002-06:00

A HEART always broken
You must be jokin’
But only I can see
The pieces and I won’t let them be
An obsessive type of love
Is my drug

Do I lack the GUTS?
Yes I have been cut
Wounds are superficial
Lots and not a little
Yet I can’t scream out
I’m black but not loud

Where is my MIND?
Is it even mine?
This dum dum
Better find one
I hear you say
Imprinted on my brain

Blue BALLS
No girl has seen at all
What is why I’m so blue
In love with her, her, and you
And still I am scared
Even though I’m bare

That is why my BACK
Everyone has chosen to attack
Did I choose to lie?
Without a spine
Life so dismal
Indivisible Invisible

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Son of Father Time

2011-11-16T14:20:00.002-06:00

One time I remember
As if it changes
The month’s not September
And I’m not famous
I just know it hurts
From twenty-seven to one
At birth
Should have been done

Sometimes I remember
Bad things
Ask me about the good… ever
You might say everything
Take it, steal it, have it
Because sometimes
Hell even shit
Isn’t mine

Wrong time I remember
This breath and the next
A virgin, sober, never on a bender
Love and feeling, confused with sex
But I’m the bad guy
I’m always wrong
Yet my try at suicide
Gets the gong

Downtime I remember
Best I ever had
To be asleep forever
Wouldn’t that just please Dad
Mad world
When I’m not down
Dreaming of a pretty girl
Without a frown

Now’s the time I remember
Or maybe begin to forget
Dare I imagine better
Maybe I could let
Him slip away
Can you just die?
Like all my wishes… someday

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

ACROSS From Calvary

2011-11-16T14:15:00.001-06:00

Across from Calvary
People watch and moan
Oh No
Bieber just might be…
The next dancer to see…
X factor known
An idol unknown
As Jesus maybe

Second in the coming
Zombie apocalypse
Proof I insist
But there is nothing
Heavy is the cross
Following the last episode of LOST

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Why Blues...

2011-11-12T12:00:00.001-06:00

Was there no other color?
Just blue
When your clothing flew
Heart a flutter
Now I shutter
Love of a girl I never knew
Because I do love you
You and no other

This just wasn’t lust
To see you naked
I’d take it
But it was love
Ask why I cry
Under this blue sky

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Pornstars Punishment ~ Amia Moretti aka Amia Miley

2011-11-11T16:40:00.001-06:00

Order LOVE Instead

2011-11-10T17:55:00.002-06:00

A bottle of Redrum
Poisoned since birth
For I am my father’s son

I mourn this one
Once so very sure
A bottle of Redrum

Born to have none
Into this cruel world
For I am my father’s son

Love must way a ton
As does the packed earth
A bottle of Redrum

Makes me fear the morning sun
Kill the pretty girl
For I am my father’s son

What have I become
To love I never learned
A bottle of Redrum
For I am my father’s son

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Mila Kunis

2011-11-10T16:30:00.008-06:00

Am I Blue

2011-11-10T13:45:00.002-06:00

My tears reflect the sky
And my heart begins to pound
Do you wonder why?
Who have I found?

As my skin turns
I wish I could say…
If only I could learn
Yet you take my breath away

Time of death?
As I head into forever
We never even met
Never to be together

Am I blue?
Yes, I love you

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Dead Beat

2011-11-10T13:40:00.002-06:00

Chain… Saw
And worn
I stand in awe
Torn and adorned
Dead
But stranger still
Take my head
When it’s my heart you fear

The tug and the pull
Hope but the tether
My heart is full
Never, ever, forever
Ugh
For us to be together

Impressive is the weight
This cross to bear
Yet… you don’t hate
Year and a half so there
That was the wait
To know you didn’t care

Link by link by damn link
Wrote, recorded, and forged
Do the dead really sleep?
Not anymore
Resurrected… I think
What did I love you for?

Built my prison
Heart a shell
You were Heaven
And I couldn’t tell
Pretend you never did it
Sent me to Hell

Feel that boom
It is but a lie
How I am doomed
Wasn’t I alive?
Never too soon
So I wonder why

Chainsaw
Zombie
Isn’t that all
End this sweet misery
Which is love
You’re still so dear
Not my head to cut
When it’s my heart you fear

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Rock Bottom

2011-11-10T13:35:00.000-06:00

Your feet never touched the ground
So there was never the sound

Of a chance taking
Mistake making
Orgasm faking
Cookies baking
Heart breaking

Girl
The end of the world
Not a bang but a whimper
Simple

* * *

My chance was but a byte
Before I went into the light
I dared you to move
Because I loved you
But you didn’t fall
No not at all

A mistake to be sure
Fell in love with a girl
An accident
Maybe a consequence
Road not taken
We never made it

On your back
You made that a fact
Like all the others
Yet my heart did flutter
It was only just a dream
To lie here and be

For you were so young
Tip of my tongue
Maybe
Possibly
Someday you would know
Over love’s threshold

Smitten and fallen
How I was callin’
This heart fell
Nowhere
Already burning
And I’m still yearning

* * *

Never touched the ground
Angel, I bow

Alone again
It never ends
Love led
Please the end
Thoughts of dead

Girls and angels
Heart was mangled
I live without them
Feet hit Rock Bottom

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Dreaming Awake

2011-11-03T16:40:00.002-05:00

Dreaming awake, sweet dreams really…
Can you hear, oh the time
It’s just like kneeling
How God denies
The very existence of my life
He doesn’t make mistakes?
I know your lie
Dreaming awake

All that I’ve been feeling
You’re just as blind
Watching is like killing
Behind those closed blinds
Think you’re so divine
Like him a fake
As I try to drive
Dreaming awake

Screaming yet somehow I’m dealing
But me you’ll never find
Closed doors and jeering
Yeah I want to hide
Or just to cry
Everything I have take
Let me sign
Dreaming awake

Yet I fight
Won’t begin to pray
Just let me die
Dreaming Awake

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Grisly Load - A Process

2011-11-03T16:35:00.003-05:00

The box awaits its grisly load
Should I be food for worms?
Or let it burn
A prince, no I’m a toad
Because I’m all alone
How I continue to turn
Will I never learn?
Can I never fold?

And end this ridiculous game
Take my cards
Break my heart
For I am too ashamed
To live within this box
I just want it to STOP!!!

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

With Life's Sojourn

2011-11-03T04:30:00.000-05:00

Starting to learn
I’ve always been cursed
With life’s sojourn

Backwards I turn
So I’m never first
To win, I’m always spurned

Stopped dead sir
Not nursed
Is no one concerned?

As I go to earn
In this shell that’s so much worse
Yet doesn’t burn

Ashes to an urn
Another day on this earth
Can’t even “Grr”

Was it different, the way we were?
What am I even worth?
Starting to learn
With life’s sojourn

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Never With Miss

2011-10-29T14:00:00.000-05:00

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Never With Miss
“My Love” dare I call you such a thing after thinking, writing, saying, but not doing such things to you; this was brought to my attention last week and as late as yesterday. Aren’t I suppose to talk about location… today that location is shame which is as real a place as any and though I often imagine that I have none, well existence has taught me different.

You see people on camera and the things they do, I’m much the same, I’m even thinking of confessing something today on camera but don’t worry you will be the first to know. Most of the time “I Drive Myself Crazy” but I’m going to share, I’m still a virgin… twenty-seven years old and I confess it so casually because I don’t believe you will ever really know and even if you did what would happen next? My point is that I think, write, and say such things but what do I really know; if the opportunity ever really presented itself I would be as quiet as a mouse.

I try to fight my way out of my shyness, out of my since of shame of being here, of even existing but take for example this girl at Kohl’s who has a boyfriend; I wanted to say something simple like “spending time with a beautiful girl, I’ve had worse days” but I didn’t. What about Hardee’s, hell chances are I have been fired, they might have already called me; what do I have to be ashamed of, I have a job but the thing is I just don’t know do I. Finally I think that if I had you, I would do even half the stuff that I want, you’ve seen me on camera and though I say I’m not afraid, you know.

So what am I doing today; “Beggin” you to be with me to be with me, not in my bed, or in the backseat, but in my shame, to help me bare myself the way I want you to for the world to see. Can you be “This Girl” can you, my heart, and my love, be “All I Believe In” to be with me yeah most girls would be ashamed but I haven’t met you yet, maybe Never With Miss.

Working Stiff

2011-10-27T16:05:00.001-05:00

Working stiff
Think
What a jiff

All I have to give
Stinks
Take a good whiff

That’s me trying to live
And yet I blink
My dreams are nixed

This is not it
Kool-Aid to drink
Then I’d be fixed

But I drift
The missing link
I just don’t fit

Read my lips
Better yet my ink
Working stiff
What a jiff

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Memorial Scent

2011-10-27T16:00:00.003-05:00

Memorial scent; aroma of it
Of me
A whiff
Stinking
My disease
Infect
Those living
Memorial scent

This funny bit
Don’t think I see
Do I trip?
Obviously
With your snickering
Not crying… yet
What will be will be
Memorial scent

How I feel like shit
I want to leave
Look at me, ick
Beg and plead
Better to weep
But what comes next
Know don’t we
Memorial scent

Sweet release
Corpse to rent
Rest In Peace
Memorial Scent

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 128 ~A Crap Author~

2011-10-27T15:55:00.007-05:00

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Hey Lady Lu...
No “Hearing Damage” the more things change, the more they stay the same and honestly I only have myself to blame but it’s never me that wants to kill me but other people that want me to kill me. Usually I would apologize or something but I’m done with that, I’ll only accept what is as what truly is and yes I’m going to shit on myself today, meteorically speaking of course.

You know those bitches as Kohl’s are always talking about me but they had a reason a few days ago; I was working so hard for awhile hell I’m only talking to you today but anyway I didn’t shower and I had a miasma around me… ok so I stunk. If that’s not enough I lied to The Abomination the other day, I wonder why my mother is keeping her mouth shut but the point is I hate the stink that lies create, even in the face of an enemy. Last but not least there is this funk I have been in for the past few days; you know the stink of failure, of death, and for the want to be a corpse once again.

“It’s A Good Day To Die” isn’t it always Luna but I ask the question why is it all coming down on me now when I’m so damn close to having something I want? I’m afraid that I might get stupid and do something that I regret which isn’t so different from every other moment in my life but the thing is I know I’ll fuck up with death so better to continue in this limbo and have a hope, a chance, or a prayer; talk about more words that I am beginning to hate. I’ve dug my grave, I’ll lie in it but no one said I had to bury myself as well but isn’t that what I’m doing, taking my shit and asking for everyone else’s as well; let’s face it dirt is too good for me.

So what have I learned today… that I have finally begun to hate this job as much as I hated Hardee’s, hell I haven’t talked them forever; and there isn’t anything pretty about shit. As for a final thought dear Lady Lu, one of the tricks to life is knowing who you are and as for me that changes again and again so for right now I’m A Crap Author.

LATE

~A Crap Author~

The Stinker
How can I forget?
Impression set
Constant blinker
Yet unbeliever
Wishing we had never met
I don’t need another breath
Haven’t you heard?

About me
This smell
Is Hell
Sorry
Story reviews
“It Stinks” not news

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

A Crap Author

2011-10-27T15:55:00.001-05:00

The Stinker
How can I forget?
Impression set
Constant blinker
Yet unbeliever
Wishing we had never met
I don’t need another breath
Haven’t you heard?

About me
This smell
Is Hell
Sorry
Story reviews
“It Stinks” not news

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Getting Down

2011-10-22T14:10:00.005-05:00

Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Buttons, zippers, fingers found
Dreaming of what comes next
Honey there’s your party dress
With heart and body, can’t you tell?
How I want you; want to well…

Be up tonight and be enough
Hold you, kiss you, be my love
The two of us right here and now
Tell me what’s so wrong with down

Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Two hearts beat with just one sound
Fingers, lips, bodies, entwined
I am yours and you are mine
From Heaven fell, I caught you
Hands reach down; you caught me too

Be up with me, somewhere between
Heaven and Hell for us to see
The two of us, love we found
Tell me what’s so wrong with down

Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Drips and drops will we drown?
In happiness, in sheets and hues
No better fate to drown with you
You’re the air I breathe, the lips I taste
Ocean of love, we have made

Be up for a swim; wade on in
Love or lust, even sin
The current of love I don’t doubt
Tell me what’s so wrong with down

Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Sounds are crashing all around
Moans and screams, softest sighs
Happily ever… a good night
Held in silent revelry
Love story for you and me

Be up to sing your siren’s song
A lover listens, can’t be wrong
Passionate voices, love is loud
Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Tell me what’s so wrong with down
Move the sun; the moon is found
In the dark, in the night
We never have to say goodbye
Underneath the moon and stars
Where are you, here you are

Be up with me, when comes the day
Baby tell me that you’ll stay
How I love you, even now
But there is nothing wrong with down

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Angel's Descent

2011-10-22T14:10:00.002-05:00

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Angel's Descent
“ Lapdance”, sex tape, naughtiness, what about my ongoing battle with crippling depression, and what if I was ever to rise though I don’t see it happening.

Now I know today’s supposed to be about me but I can’t deny that a girl would have to do some pretty raunchy stuff to be with me. I think it’s because I have believed in… let’s call it “Courtly Love” for so long you know like “Spinelli on General Hospital”. It could simply be that I’m a twenty-seven year old virgin, yes I said it; yes I lie to some people but those people aren’t reading this so anyway I have always had such Pornographic Passions and yet I wonder “How Did I Fall In Love With You”.

I mention my depression, I can’t help it, and drugs can’t help me because unlike most people I know why I am depressed. A lack of confidence, the whole damn world, it could be the “Possibility” that I have been right all along; let that not be the case.

For some reason I believe that you or some other girl would be the cure for what ails me and what if you were? I don’t know it would be like to be happy, I honestly can’t remember it what it was like or if I ever was, I can only remember being in the fourth grade sitting beside the concrete steps wanting my girlfriend at the time to tell me she loved me and to sit beside me. The other day I was talking to this girl online and she said I was trying too hard and that’s how I live my life as if “It Will Rain” so I rush, I get stupid and when it doesn’t work I’m depressed.

So I meet you, you’ll do every sick thing I imagine, somehow or another I become happy; the question becomes, what will become of me; I need to rise and you need to fall and pills have never given me that balance but an “Angel’s Descent”?

Angel's Descent

High above me
But to catch you
As you see
And I grew
You’re falling

Lying and not
Waiting, anticipating
You’re so damn hot
And I’m laying
While you’re on top

Just to see you fall
From above
More beautiful that I thought
This love
Surrounding all

Inside me, inside you
Hearts race
And the truth
This grind and pace
Heaven isn’t through

But comes crashing down
Eventually
How love astounds
Still buried deep
Yet found

Or so I’m guessing
Have we ever met?
How I’m confessing
It doesn’t make sense
This foolish jesting
Maybe confidence
Cupid is besting
Dear love what’s next
As I’m wishing and obsessing
An angel’s descent

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

But A Man Ain't Supposed To

2011-10-22T14:05:00.000-05:00

But a man ain’t supposed to; what have doubts
How we both deny
And I figure somehow
It won’t be a lie
Exasperated sigh
Your feelings are true
Say it alright
But a man ain’t supposed to…

Sing up and down
Or wonder why
I want you around
Is it just tonight?
Dream of a life
Thought you knew
You just might
But a man ain’t supposed to…

Show his frown
Fear goodbye
Scream out loud
For you to vie
To want to die
Yet I do
Have feelings right
But a man ain’t supposed to…

Cry…
Because I love you
So I try
But a man ain’t supposed to

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Angel's Descent

2011-10-22T14:00:00.001-05:00

High above me
But to catch you
As you see
And I grew
You’re falling

Lying and not
Waiting, anticipating
You’re so damn hot
And I’m laying
While you’re on top

Just to see you fall
From above
More beautiful that I thought
This love
Surrounding all

Inside me, inside you
Hearts race
And the truth
This grind and pace
Heaven isn’t through

But comes crashing down
Eventually
How love astounds
Still buried deep
Yet found

Or so I’m guessing
Have we ever met?
How I’m confessing
It doesn’t make sense
This foolish jesting
Maybe confidence
Cupid is besting
Dear love what’s next
As I’m wishing and obsessing
An angel’s descent

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lion NOT Me

2011-10-17T12:50:00.001-05:00

Snores in the cage
I sleep
Dream
Of a rage
The day
When I peep
Hunt and eat
In this age

Am I loud?
Only breath
Awaiting death
And how
Hunter and hunted
Better star runnin

Right now
Because I detest
You and your friends
Meow
Aren’t I a mess
This is how it ends

Dreaming of yesterday
A secret to keep
Only memories
Not me on the page
“Roar” I want to say
Pathetic kitty
Lion wanna be
Mane shaved

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

A~Muse

2011-10-17T12:45:00.000-05:00

A ~ Muse
My reflection
It’s what I do

Is it news?
My sad expression
I thought you knew

You being you
Aren’t I the direction?
Of your boos

As in my boo-who
You’re unaffected
But I knew

And yet I snooze
Let it
It will end soon

Nightmares “boo”
Seeing you naked
I’m there too

Long overdue
Unexpected
Boy renewed

One night through
Mind misdirected
You and a few

Choose
Elected
Me the monkey at the zoo

So I lose
The joke not catchin
A ~ Muse
It’s what I do

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Conventional Shunning

2011-10-17T12:40:00.000-05:00

Conventional shunning; isolation
Pretending not to see
I know my station
And I rather not be
Listen to he, he
So I’m running
Someday I’ll be blinding
Conventional shunning

Ain’t that truth of masturbation?
Love is what I need
Lustful titillations
Write of love and read
But pleasure supersedes
Not the average Playboy Bunny
What of my good deeds
Conventional shunning

So many expectations
Money’s what I need
Damning my taxation
Bittersweet Symphony
How I need to feed
Am I just a dummy?
Begging on my knees
Conventional shunning

This is not my dream
Alone and never touching
Anything but me
Conventional shunning

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Slip of a Love

2011-10-15T17:40:00.000-05:00

Slipping words
Don’t hide
Or unsubscribe
Haven’t you heard?
No need to confer
Much more than lines
And more than kind
Education, to learn

What love is?
Nice
Along with vice
Starting with a kiss
Love
Is that enough?

It feels like the world
A surprise
Almost suicide
How is it I burn?
Just for you girl
I can’t deny
My heart this time
All I want on Earth

You my pretty Miss
Choose me over that guy
But can I tell you why
Only this
Feel the love
Fall from up above

There is no list
Yet can you find?
I’m the diamond in the rough
Let the word slip
Be my
Love

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Loose Love

2011-10-15T17:35:00.000-05:00

Get a grip
Hang on
Lest I slip
But for how long

Have I liked you?
Been there
Told the truth
That I care

I think it’s called insanity
To be on the edge
And all you see
Is the mess

If I fall below
Because I won’t let go

And it’s not right
This climb
You take my love as light
My heart in a bind

Yet to give in
Calling it quits
Ending my sin
A reason to live

Instead of jumping
Or crashing
Maybe I’m nothing
Not even dashing

Am I enough?
Perhaps too much

Is this it?
The doomed siren’s song
Cupid’s miss
I’m always wrong

Can’t be right
Won’t be mine
Forever or tonight
Never my time

So…
Hanging is tough
Should I let go?
Of love

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Love’s Lucidity

2011-10-15T12:27:00.009-05:00

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Love's Lucidity
How Crazy Are You” a very direct question but par for the course that our lives will take us on, if we were together. You’re here and if you are a girl of substance, of depth, and if you are worthy; yes today is about you, I have already lost my mind, my heart and soul to the cause of love… for now let’s start with your mind.

I can’t think of a reason for you to love me, to “Follow Me” and yet it is required and clearly to demand such means we’re both crazy if you are considering it. Love has never been reasonable and I don’t wish it to be; at this point in my life if you simply said yes; I would consider that madness. This is a habit I should really start to break (talking about other women) anyway I read a poem from this friend of mine “Lola” the other day and I guess I do need a “Crazy Bitch” minus the bitch somewhat.

Yet I also brought up depth, how deep the rabbit hole goes you know; if you’re reading this you know I’m falling in love with you and I’m “Beggin” you to put your lovin hand out baby, better yet the two of us should be “Rolling in the Deep”. How’s this for confidence believing that you are out there somewhere and if you think I’m actually reasonable then yes you might fit the bill and if you think I’m crazy and still want to give this a shot, that gives me cause to wonder. The thing is I also want the normal life, okay extraordinary I mean could you picture us just sitting by the lake, my head in your lap our feet in the water, of course in this scenario I want my own house and lake someday and I want to be able to afford you the life you deserve.

The question is how crazy are you to love, to trust, and to believe me, well you know what I want from you so if you do then I think I’m gonna “Marry You” just kidding heh heh. Let’s start with something small as in would you be like the “Songbird” easier to think you would offer your body, your love, such is my Love’s Lucidity.

Love's Lucidity

Love’s lucidity; love I dare say
The feeling
Yesterday
Broken and healing
Painful yet dealing
But the memory
Really
Love’s Lucidity

Pornographic absurdity; lust to sate
Up and wielding
Today
Lovely lines, not nearly
Body searing
21st century
Where’s the Bling-bling
Love’s Lucidity

Inglorious insanity; a future to create
A heart I’m rebuilding
Yet my fate
Though I keep believing
Is to keep reliving
My lonely misery
So I keep dreaming
Love’s Lucidity

Me you’re not seeing
You won’t love me
Loveless reasoning
Love’s Lucidity

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Love's Lucidity

2011-10-15T10:30:00.000-05:00

Love’s lucidity; love I dare say
The feeling
Yesterday
Broken and healing
Painful yet dealing
But the memory
Really
Love’s Lucidity

Pornographic absurdity; lust to sate
Up and wielding
Today
Lovely lines, not nearly
Body searing
21st century
Where’s the Bling-bling
Love’s Lucidity

Inglorious insanity; a future to create
A heart I’m rebuilding
Yet my fate
Though I keep believing
Is to keep reliving
My lonely misery
So I keep dreaming
Love’s Lucidity

Me you’re not seeing
You won’t love me
Loveless reasoning
Love’s Lucidity

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inoue Orihime ~ Bleach

2011-10-10T09:55:00.001-05:00

Belated Exhalation

2011-10-09T14:30:00.000-05:00

Elated to be belated, there was a time
Before the day
Were the years ever kind?
When I just couldn’t wait
Didn’t much appreciate
But I was serenaded
No one missed to say
Elated to be belated

Days when I could spin a line
A day I was made
I didn’t want to hide
Payday
They all knew the way
Never hesitated
How I got paid
Elated to be belated

And now I find
My birthday
Funny, never mine
Go away
This moment I hate
Life not celebrated
Shouldn’t be alive this date
Elated to be belated

Future or fate
Twenty-seven years, I’ve played it
I’ll be someday
Elated to be belated

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

A Fair Turn

2011-10-09T14:25:00.001-05:00

It’s my turn
To try
Maybe I’ll lie
Haven’t I learned?
I crash and burn
With luck I die
But to fly
From off this earth

Can’t get much higher
A cause to hope
As I choke
The Devil I admire
Prince of the air
It hardly seems fair

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Shine In Five

2011-10-09T14:20:00.000-05:00

When is the time?
Waiting for someday
To shine

Been so far behind
And I wasn’t late
I just strive

For the right word, the right line
Some girl to date
But I’m not fine

Just my heart is in a bind
Love is a big mistake
Never is kind

So let me sign
My life away
It’s not mine

In life I ride the pine
Stilling waiting for the day
When is the time?
To shine

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Hushing Love

2011-10-08T14:20:00.000-05:00

Hush-Hush
Dare I reveal?
This love

What’s the rush?
When all it takes to seal the deal
Is to be like that bunch

You to touch
Your body feel
But not just lust

I dare look up
And drop and kneel
But

I’m too much
A face turned heel
Or I’m never enough

This lonely fool has drunk the punch
Another girl, my heart to steal
Hush-Hush
This love

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lying With A Dream

2011-10-08T14:15:00.000-05:00

Pretty sleeper
The subject
What comes next?
My lover and my keeper
“God, can I keep her”
Don’t say “not yet”
I tumble and I fret
As my love grow deeper

Will she ever know?
I will tell
How I have fell
But will she stay or go
If she would only know of
The value of my love

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lover's Babel

2011-10-08T14:10:00.005-05:00

Underlying secret as my angel
Do you fall or fly
A struggle, a tangle
How badly you try to hide
Amongst the clouds you ride
Can you keep it?
Or do you deny
Underlying secret

And here I dangle
Heaven is so high
Should I be thankful?
As I try and climb
Yet wonder why
This emotion, I have met
I can’t say goodbye
Underlying secret

Old and new fangled
Feelings like tides
Love and lust mangle
If we should find
We cross such a line
Who are you, have I met you yet
Could you be my
Underlying secret

So lonely I could cry
Are you Heaven sent?
Is this love or lie?
Underlying secret

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lover's Babel

2011-10-08T14:10:00.004-05:00

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Lover's Babel
“Don’t Start No Shit” is probably not the first thing I want to say to you but over the past few days with the ulterior motives, the secrets, and the lies, I feel that I owe you the truth. If you’re reading this then you know that I don’t have anything to hide… anyway you know that I’m honest most of the time and if you were my love I would never hide anything from you.

What am I about, your heart, your body, your soul and mind, look at where you are now, I don’t ask you to go elsewhere or risk any money; case and point ever girl or whatever that pretended to like me on “AdoptAGuy.com”. You want to know my secrets, again look at where you are or you could just ask me; I know what my chances are with you so why bother trying to hide? So you caught that huh… I don’t have anything to hide, purely by omission or my own fear, no I’m not some criminal, let me just say “God Help The Outcasts” but if you want the truth all you need do is ask.

I could be like so many others and lie and omit, talk about thinking the best of people, yesterday I thought I was so popular, I got a big head… both of them ha, anyway about five girls and all wanting me to sign up to some webcam, LIARS all of them. My profile now… I have sent charms to girls and none of them care, this is what the truth gets me, all alone in “My World” How long can I believe that someday I will say “Everything Is Different Now” this life is a lie told by liars, not my life or my story and yet I offer to give that to you.

You can have trust without love but you cannot have love without trust, hell you would my lust would get the best of me and still I search for something deeper. Your “Everything” and that is what I am willing to give, no ulterior motive, no secrets, and no lies; the love I want to have for you demands more than some Lover’s Babel.

Lover's Babel

Underlying secret as my angel
Do you fall or fly
A struggle, a tangle
How badly you try to hide
Amongst the clouds you ride
Can you keep it?
Or do you deny
Underlying secret

And here I dangle
Heaven is so high
Should I be thankful?
As I try and climb
Yet wonder why
This emotion, I have met
I can’t say goodbye
Underlying secret

Old and new fangled
Feelings like tides
Love and lust mangle
If we should find
We cross such a line
Who are you, have I met you yet
Could you be my
Underlying secret

So lonely I could cry
Are you Heaven sent?
Is this love or lie?
Underlying secret

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

The Right Kind of Love

2011-10-06T16:20:00.002-05:00

Inside us
If only I could find
What has been denied
Love and trust
Looking more like lust
Maybe it was a lie
Ouch, my right side
Appendicitis

Surgery to remove
This thing called love
But
What if I knew?
A girl good, better, best
And not like my appendix

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

The Screams Drew You

2011-10-06T16:15:00.002-05:00

Scream the “truth” you don’t lie…
A little a lot, not anymore
And I wonder why
Your voices soar
Knock me to the floor
Take what you want as true
Fairytales, rumors, folklore
Scream the truth

I found you yet wonder why
It was you I adore
Sigh
You stupid, abuse, fucking whore
Yet I believe in my core
That I “I love you”
Slammed the door
Scream the truth

And now how do I get by
Did I fall on my sword?
Pain I try to hide
But I don’t ask the Lord
Doesn’t matter, I’m ignored
This is nothing new
About me you’re bored
Scream the truth

In the end, what am I living for?
The love we never knew
Don’t want to anymore
Scream the truth

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Pulse Sate Thing

2011-10-06T16:10:00.002-05:00

This Pulse Sate Thing, driving me insane
While usually so inane
As the want of sex
Like I so often suggest
A question of how love is made

Beat and breath an endless drain
Pursuit of glory, fortunate and fame
But could I be another or next
This Pulse Sate Thing

And this new hurt; this new pain
Don’t feel so good but worse the same
Never healthy, never best
Just wish it hurt a little less
Life and pain but who’s to blame
This Pulse Sate Thing

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Mrs. Sandman

2011-10-01T16:10:00.000-05:00

Sandman
With an umbrella drink
And you getting a tan

Asking for a chance
Love doesn’t think
You’re a woman; I’m a man

A princess from some distant land
Connected by a link
Entice me like you can

Want you to understand
Words in ink
I love you, I can

But how I ran
Went back to sleep
Winning you… damn

Dreaming of you, no sheep or lambs
Paradise in the ink
Sandman
And you getting a tan

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Hot Ink

2011-10-01T16:05:00.001-05:00

Inkblots
Expressing my fears
With so many tears
How I think you’re hot
And I can’t stop
After so many years
The taunts and the jeers
I love you lots

How doth my lady, my lover?
After all this time
I dare another line
To you and no other
Ink in lovely lore
My love forever more

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Better Left Hollow

2011-10-01T16:00:00.005-05:00

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Better Left Hollow
“The Road” hopefully not this road but the more I think about it, the only way we could be together is on a road of my making, a world of my design, and if you have hung around here for long enough then you know how such a universe looks. It will never be enough to have you in just wishes, my memories seem so empty, and writing about you well… you would never be you, the you I make you out to be.

I heard in Step Up 3 that’s it’s the journey and not the destination but for so long I have been journeying towards being with you or maybe you’re trying to get to me, anyway are we there yet? Most days I would like to say I’m not lost, just “Undiscovered” but how many people wish I would just get lost; yes I have to remember confidence. Even in the stories I write I’m lost but then again I am always searching which is what this is all about… looking for you because I don’t know what would happen if I found you that’s why this is turning out to be less of a you’re here and more of a where are you.

How I have wished to have you and I have shared those wishes in some very unhealthy ways remember the Harmoni Incident, yeah is that what I’m calling it now? What about everything I wrote for Chrissy, you should have seen me, she thanks me, calls me talented and I think what, that I can have her and what about every other girl I ever wrote for, so few, so few. The you I write about… honestly would you ever be such a girl; I might not even want you to be, I don’t really know.

When I first started writing this I meant to find you in my words… literally because that’s the only place where I can truly touch you I suppose. So where can I find you, where do I want you, and where do I need you; words, dreams, my heart, Better Left Hollow.

Better Left Hollow

A glance passing now crashing
Lover against me
In the darkness dancing
Between the sheets

And in that same glance know
True beauty this night
Your warmth, your glow
Against me in the morning light

But to glance in day
I do now and forever
For you my love will say
Return to sender

No love tomorrow
With my message in a bottle

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Better Left Hollow

2011-10-01T16:00:00.003-05:00

A glance passing now crashing
Lover against me
In the darkness dancing
Between the sheets

And in that same glance know
True beauty this night
Your warmth, your glow
Against me in the morning light

But to glance in day
I do now and forever
For you my love will say
Return to sender

No love tomorrow
With my message in a bottle

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 124 ~Some People NOT Me~

2011-09-30T10:40:00.004-05:00

Friday, September 30, 2011

Lesson 124 ~Some People NOT Me~

Hey Lady Lu...
I wonder… is it my world that’s full of “Space Junk” or maybe I am that space junk; hell did I just say my world, as if I own anything. This world, the world that surrounds me is full of plenty but today I choose to focus on the black… people.

Now you know what I wanted to say, a very ugly word for my own people; dare I say “Freedom Ain’t Free” even in this place. Okay what I see surrounding me is… better to let Martin Luther King Jr. from the “Boondocks” sum up for me but honestly am I any better? The more I look out Luna… yeah I am better because with all the evils I believe in, that I aspire to, and that I accept, who is it that I am really hurting?

Everyday I am told who to say hate, what to fear, and what to be and really Luna do I want to be them; these people who hate me, not Muslims, Republicans, or even white people in general but black people. Okay so I’m me but why am I too be hated when all I’m trying to do is exactly what they want, yeah you know it always starts with The Abomination and yes Luna I love my mother but I so want me a white girl or an Asian girl, hell Chrissy is a Latina and I would do more for her than any black girl I’ve ever met because they say I ain’t shit; so why do they treat me as such… get it. Yes I know I don’t look at myself as a man, a boy, or even a human being but an it and I suppose you can add that I’m not black either.

So what have I learned today… I have been at war with the whole world but I can greatly diminish my enemies if I simply go for the group that has made my life the most miserable and that is black people; no I’m not saying there aren’t other bad people of every race. For a final thought, I know one very evil black “man” in The Abomination but what about black women… if I ever find love hell to love anyone “Some People NOT Me”.

LATE

Race In The Dirt

2011-09-30T10:40:00.002-05:00

Woe, woe, to the man in the dirt
Much too loud
Who says words don’t hurt

I love and I flirt
Yet moved by lust found
I’m not sure

What my face is worth
Or who I am now
Am I still that nerd

Shy words given to pretty girls
Yet not even a wow
As I learn

My own people spurn
Dare I ask why or how?
We should all burn

Hatred for us all earned
“You People” keep me down
Woe, woe, to the man in the dirt
Who says words don’t hurt

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Mellow Sunshine

2011-09-30T10:35:00.002-05:00

Why so negative
Looked at as a sin

Twelve wanting to be twelve
The difference between Heaven and Hell
Is PM to AM
It’s not fair
Middle to the start of the new
Which do you choose?
Morning is declined
For the mellow sunshine

God’s happy cry
For the Devil beating his wife
How I want to be happy
But the Devil can’t have me
Tears during the day
You I must obey
Not alright or fine
In the mellow sunshine

A world with more birthdays
You can take mine away
All twenty-seven
Just want to get to Heaven
Or the second-circle of Hell
Can’t you tell?
I don’t deny
With the mellow sunshine

Life begins
When
Love, lust, and sin
Maybe when life ends
From cell, to cell, to Hell
Oh well
Life’s a bitch and then you die
Not on a beach but mellow sunshine

And so many stars can’t be the one
Sun
My daddy taught me
Another somebody
Under a black sky
Why can’t I die?
Still alive
This mellow sunshine

Negativity I like
Because the mellow sunshine
Isn’t as bright
As you would like

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Some People NOT Me

2011-09-30T10:30:00.002-05:00

Some people… more than one
Laugh and fear and hate… me
For fun?
My crime is making a “we”
When I’m there son
Not the whole world, see

Just some people… not just a few
Over twenty-seven years
Make it their mission for me to lose
The cause of all my tears
Should have been born blue
Maybe I wouldn’t get the sneers

Of some people… more than a dozen
Flesh and blood, a “family”
Mommy, Daddy, Sister, Cousin
Don’t make me happy
Brothers, sisters, all the others
Skin like theirs… no one like me

Because some people… not most
Look at me, like a diseased rat
Make me doubt, so I don’t know
And tear me down with their attacks
Hate my birth and make me want to go
Not Muslims, Republicans, I’m talking at

But some people… and not the whole damn world
Those from royalty, to slavery, to today, and me
Ashamed and filled with hate for sure
And why shouldn’t I be
Say I’m worthless and I’m no good
The man in the mirror, that I see

Some people won’t understand
They and I are enemies
Dare I say, "I AM A MAN”?
Who is it that cannot see?
My character they cannot stand
And who am I supposed to be
“You people” won’t understand
Some People, NOT Me

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Coach Cupid

2011-09-24T16:45:00.006-05:00

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Coach Cupid
Who wants to play with me… I can’t blame you, I suppose the polite way to say what I am is that I’m the underdog but let’s have the truth I’m a loser. I know, girls like confidence but let’s be real that’s on the inside and as much as I may have the outside is still the outside but really I can’t judge.

“You Make Me Better” isn’t that what it always comes down to, wanting to be better because of a girl, wanting to be better because of you, wanting to get back in the game. Hell I doubt I have ever been in the game, this is training, I want to be a contender and look at me now, actually making money, planning some sort of future, and actually lying to The Abomination’s face… how dare I? It always comes back to Chrissy but you have to understand that she brought me back and I would have done anything to be her “Hero” anything to actually win at love.

It’s what’s inside that counts, even you mean my wallet, my bank account, or if I could actually wear those muscle shirts; to look like a bad boy, a tough guy, a winner. Inside of me is love, I have so much love to give, but you can have all the heart in the world and still not win the girl. Confidence, I have confidence and yet you’re going to look at me and what is it you’re going to see; yeah I can be “Superman” but what will you see outside…

So you and me “Against The World” that’s how I see us but right now it’s “I Stand Alone” or worse “I Against I” the thing is I’m not that much of a loser anymore… funny how money changes things. I ask and now I’m asking you “Give Me A Chance And Let Me Play” let’s hear Willie, Willie, Willie, okay maybe not, Ha.

Coach Cupid

Riding the pine, alone on the bench
But this love, isn’t over yet
The wins, the losses, the points, and score
Sitting here but I need more
Being here on love’s sideline
To win the game, to make her mine
I want and need; I do and say
Let me in the game to play

Second string and not the starter
I wonder why I even bother
Losing, taking one for the team
While he plays with the girl of my dreams
Call it hope, for him to lose?
Or maybe she will have to choose
May I be picked to love someday?
She and I might get to play

Injured reserve, my heart to break
Could be a risk or a mistake
Love’s a rough and tumble game
Is she different or the same?
Whining and crying, love’s injured ward
Everyone sees this boy’s scoreboard
But loving her, still I stay
If I’m to win, I have to play

The greatest fan, of her life
But it was love, at first sight
Needed a chance to make the team
More than thoughts, more than dreams
For when I take the field… again
On that day, we might just win
“I love you” I’ll hear her say
Something real and not just play

I’ve never been a player or star
Won the girl or a heart
But try, try, and try again
To play the game, get off the bench
So I ask with this small hope
Let me off the bench coach
I love her more than yesterday
Give me a chance and let me play

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

The Outside Girl

2011-09-24T16:45:00.005-05:00

She is the goddess
The divine
A savior
Someday and later
That first flavor
For her heart hides
Beneath breasts and bodice

She is the angel
The star in the sky
Mountains peek
Yet I seek
Humble and meek
But she’s so high
From Heaven dangles

She is the princess
The new queen bound
A treasure
Such pleasure
For me never
Yet the girl I found
No not yet

She is the warrior
Not target or shooter
But arrow
And this fellow
Has been laid low
Yet I never knew her
Boy meets girl

She is a girl
The pretty
For what else
Can I tell?
I have failed
One of many
In this world

Because what’s inside
I never reached
Though I tried

So I derive
What love is?
From the outside

And I love the girl

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Bunny Habits

2011-09-24T16:40:00.001-05:00

Perpetually broken
Have I had it?
A dream of love, awoken
Loving you a habit

You’re leaping and hopping
Trying to fly
Never stopping
But I try to deny
Bunnies in my dreaming
Sexy bowtie

Your twitching nose
I find a delight
But there it goes
Raised so high
Loving you so
Yet you won’t be mine

Your chewing, no kiss
Ripped and torn
Yet you insist
On dining all the more
That’s my heart Miss
What do I love you for?

You’re scurrying and hurrying
I’m not a wolf or a dog even
What I am or hope to be
Doesn’t matter you’re leavin’
Why is it I’m not learning?
I should stop believin’

You multiply
All of you exactly the same
I fall, you choose another guy
Too ugly, too stupid; obsessed and lame
Don’t wonder why
I’m to blame

So break my heart, yeah it’s funny
Enough of love, I’ve never had it
Girl, angel, Playboy Bunny
Loving you… I’ll break the habit

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Coach Cupid

2011-09-24T16:35:00.000-05:00

Riding the pine, alone on the bench
But this love, isn’t over yet
The wins, the losses, the points, and score
Sitting here but I need more
Being here on love’s sideline
To win the game, to make her mine
I want and need; I do and say
Let me in the game to play

Second string and not the starter
I wonder why I even bother
Losing, taking one for the team
While he plays with the girl of my dreams
Call it hope, for him to lose?
Or maybe she will have to choose
May I be picked to love someday?
She and I might get to play

Injured reserve, my heart to break
Could be a risk or a mistake
Love’s a rough and tumble game
Is she different or the same?
Whining and crying, love’s injured ward
Everyone sees this boy’s scoreboard
But loving her, still I stay
If I’m to win, I have to play

The greatest fan, of her life
But it was love, at first sight
Needed a chance to make the team
More than thoughts, more than dreams
For when I take the field… again
On that day, we might just win
“I love you” I’ll hear her say
Something real and not just play

I’ve never been a player or star
Won the girl or a heart
But try, try, and try again
To play the game, get off the bench
So I ask with this small hope
Let me off the bench coach
I love her more than yesterday
Give me a chance and let me play

Lesson 123 ~Reputed Undisputed~

2011-09-22T16:35:00.002-05:00

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Lesson 123 ~Reputed Undisputed~

Hey Lady Lu...
I’m not “Alright” I know big surprise right and an even bigger surprise… it’s not my fault but not in the usual way. Did I think getting a job, lying to The Abomination, or the actual idea of having something I want would change me; no I’m still just whatever.

There was a time Luna I simply thought I was much too damaged for this world, perverted, obsessed, “Motherless”; yeah that’s right you remember how that site once terrified me but the people in this world have damaged me so hell do I even care anymore? I have lived my life, no that’s bullshit I have existed in this shell simply with the idea that I’ll “Die Another Day” so it doesn’t matter what people think of me and then I start working at Hardee’s and I suddenly remember how worthless I really am. Honestly I don’t even know if I still work there, Kohl’s is still going well though; anyway you know how I like to picture myself as evil but I don’t who I am anymore or even if I ever did, I just feel “Numb”.

So I work at Kohl’s and still possibly at Hardee’s and what do you think those people see… my parents, high school, and of course everyone else. I lied to The Abomination about Kohl’s a few days back, now a lie to an enemy is no lie at all but you know how I feel about lying and even lying to the Devil himself I still feel somewhat bad. Sometimes I find myself looking at things I could possibly want now that I have money and I feel sick to my stomach; a deathly type of nirvana Luna and I have completely lost the point of today’s lesson which is to “Take A Look At My Life”

What I have been attempting to learn today is the simple fact that whatever I try and whatever I do, I think it is much too late to try to be someone else in the eyes of these people and I only wish I could change. My final thought is a question and of course I already know the answer Luna; what is it that really changes a person “Change Your Mind” I don’t think so “Power” is the answer but for right as far as who I am why bother Reputed Undisputed.

LATE

Reputed Undisputed

Am I still STANDING?
Never landing
Forgotten how to fly
Wonder why
Forever damned
I don’t understand
“Too stupid”
You said it

The CHARACTER I play
Who am I today?
A fool a coward
Scream it louder
And laugh hardy
Hardee’s
Because day one
Who I was

The VIEWS that are expressed here
I’ve been hearing for years
Anyone
And everyone
For once the world agrees
I’d fall to my knees
If God’s opinion
Wasn’t like his minions

By all ESTIMATIONS
I am mistaken
A mistake
That no one should make
Not a failure but a fail
Doomed to Hell
From what
No buts

A first IMPRESSION
I’m elected
The worst
Your curse
Not worth
My birth
And I can’t make a second one
So I don’t
And so my reputation
The thoughts of a nation
My life today, my repute
Why fight it; it is the truth

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

The Way to Love

2011-09-22T13:50:00.007-05:00

Before… the way
I’m looking down
Without a sound

Call it what you will
Shy or nervous
Without purpose
Wishing to be under the surface
Of this Earth
Because my heart you’ll steal
Pretty girl

Across… the way
Not so far
But never where you are

Wherever
On the Internet
A picture I can’t forget
Dreaming in bed
In a house not a home
Never us together
I’m always alone

Why… the way
Maybe you’re out of luck
Horny, want to fuck

I’m not lost
But undiscovered
Want to be your lover
It’s you and no other
Heart makes a mess of things
Loving you cost
And I get nothing

How… the way
I see love
And you see not enough

Of course no one’s perfect
But amazing
You save me
To slay me
With your own hand
Are we worth it?
You’ll never understand

And after… the way
Mad, bad, glad, sad
It’s not like we ever had…

Love
But these thoughts, feelings, my intuition
How I’m freed from all my inhibitions
Lost to angels and devils, your apparition
Haunting me
As always from above
Because I can’t see

A way for anyone
To love me

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Pupil Pushed

2011-09-22T13:45:00.003-05:00

Pupil pushed
Rolled into the skull
How I am bushed
This life a lull
Why bother a look
A word made dull

Blind to the kind
Was there ever such a thing?
So sublime
Look at me
And talk about kindness
Somewhere lost in the dark
Such is blindness
A breaking… that’s my heart

Blind in line
The back of someone’s head
When will it be my time?
I heard everything you said
Stay inside
No life to create
Outside
And so I wait

Blind to the time
A past I can’t forget
The future I can’t find
And what of the present
Today and tomorrow
What I have found
Sad hours follow
Tears threaten to drown

Blind in the divine
Can you see God?
Or only the blind
The mob
Leading the blind
Darkness mistaken for light
Chained and tied
This isn’t right

Blind to what is mine
Which is nothing
So I don’t buy your lies
But to own something
To touch, to feel
If only to see
And I know it’s real
Yet I can’t even see me

So let my eyes roll
Be pushed to see lies
How am I to know?
I’m not the only one who’s blind

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Reputed Undisputed

2011-09-22T13:40:00.001-05:00

Am I still STANDING?
Never landing
Forgotten how to fly
Wonder why
Forever damned
I don’t understand
“Too stupid”
You said it

The CHARACTER I play
Who am I today?
A fool a coward
Scream it louder
And laugh hardy
Hardee’s
Because day one
Who I was

The VIEWS that are expressed here
I’ve been hearing for years
Anyone
And everyone
For once the world agrees
I’d fall to my knees
If God’s opinion
Wasn’t like his minions

By all ESTIMATIONS
I am mistaken
A mistake
That no one should make
Not a failure but a fail
Doomed to Hell
From what
No buts

A first IMPRESSION
I’m elected
The worst
Your curse
Not worth
My birth
And I can’t make a second one
So I don’t

And so my reputation
The thoughts of a nation
My life today, my repute
Why fight it; it is the truth

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Jammed Peach

2011-09-20T17:50:00.004-05:00

I wonder why she cries
Once so warm and sweet
She doesn’t say goodbye

She was angelic divine
And so I reached
Tried and climbed

Just a taste would she be mine
How I hungered both want and need
A treat or to dine

Love grew, in time
And she was a peach
So sublime

Lord give me a sign
Say “she’s not for me”
Yet I grabbed that vine

Can’t seem to make her mine
Such is my summer memory
I wonder why she cries
She doesn’t say goodbye

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

News of a New Heartbeat

2011-09-17T15:55:00.002-05:00

A new beat
Skipped
You and me
Here’s a tip
It was love
At first sight
But is it enough
For real insight

The beat
Making up for one
Leading and speeding
Almost a run
Such a chase
For the perfect word
Is it a waste?
You’re beautiful girl

Like a drum beat
The two of us alone
Off our feet
Voices cry and moan
But in our chests
What news
Love or sex
Us, me, and you

Slowing beat
Almost at rest
Peace
In bed
How sweet
A miracle actually
Love is such a feat
Especially for me

And this beat
Is desired
A new day to see
Love so dire
The reason
I choose
Another season
The news I love you

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Where The Love Does Grow

2011-09-17T15:50:00.003-05:00

Dream a little dream
You and me
This love we’ve known
Has only grown

Eyes go wide
Translation, “My, my, my, my, my, my, my”
First and then a second
A thought, a recollection
Pretty, beautiful, so damn hot
Not so little but a lot

How I’d forgotten how to smile
But go the distance, a thousand miles
Maybe more with a smile on my face
To make you happy, so you’ll stay
With such a love, how can I frown?
Just be here, I want you around

With love for you my heart does grow
Three sizes, more, just so you know
There’s nothing more I rather do
Than to be in love with you
So let my heart be big and strong
Loving you it can’t be wrong

Speaking of sin, of lust… erection
Desire, love, to see you naked
How I want you, want you so bad
Dream made real, you’re here at last
The two of us, what a surprise
Being here, will you stay the night?

Close your eyes my love and wonder
A long forever to be lovers
Build a place where we don’t wander
Big enough for him and her
Is it more than just a dream?
To think you’ll run away with me

Lying here I dream a dream
A dream that we will always be
It’s not little but big enough
As we grow even more in love

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

A Torch of Love

2011-09-17T15:45:00.003-05:00

Saturday, September 17, 2011

A Torch of Love
Who goes to Hell and doesn’t expect to get burned… and yet I’m asking you to come with me and more to the point not to burn me. This is going to sound more like a journal entry today but it just can’t wait and besides what I have to say applies at 1:50 PM today; I shouldn’t be afraid of being with you… afraid of losing you, afraid that I might love you too much, afraid you’ll love me too much but not afraid of being with you.

Love isn’t easy but at some point it has to be; I’m not saying make it easy but remember Chrissy, a year and half of chasing and I got nothing… I’m not doing that again. I need a girl that is with me, me and her “Against The World” too many would be angels and so I want a fallen one. Speaking of fallen angels, I don’t care if a girl is deceptive, seductive, manipulative, cruel, or vicious as long as she uses such talents in my favor, you can have trust without love but you cannot have love without trust.

Now I have this second job at Hardee’s… I HATE HARDEE’S, anyway what is scaring me right now is the fact that I’m thinking they’ll call; shouldn’t I want that money, getting out of the house, a future, from them hell no; same thing as a girl I shouldn’t be afraid of what I desire, what kind of Hell is that… The Twilight Zone, anyone? My first job is at Kohl’s and I am afraid I will lose that job, they can call me, ask me to come in, and it’s “Unthinkable” that I would say no; like a girl it should be unthinkable to be without your love. As for loving too much or being loved too much, maybe I do love too much but for a girl to love me like a girl off “Bible Black” well minus the stabbing how much is too much?

I’m not sure how much longer I can hold this torch or maybe I’m being burned at the stake, tied to the whipping post or whatever and yet I want something, someone hotter. Being consumed by love is something I want; just don’t burn me with A Torch of Love.

A Torch of Love

How I’ve carried a torch for you
A way out of the darkness, finding love
When you are much more than enough
Fearing you might be too much
But I’m sure you want the truth

The light I have seen in you
Is greater than any torch I bear
And I know you’re still there
That is why I love you

For so long I have carried this fire
Through the storms, the wind and the rain
Slings and arrows, plenty of pain
And how I am going insane
Wanting you, my one desire

Your fire has burned me
Yet I still reach out
How can I be without?
I do believe, it’s destiny

The weight, it saps my strength
Yet I keep my grip
Be it wrong, such is sin
I just can’t give in
Baby I will wait

Because you’re not so heavy
Beautiful in the dark night
Holding you, so very light
Loving you, each and every

Crackle and pop, the flame does call
Like a siren’s beautiful song
And yet it is so very wrong
For whom the bell tolls, or a gong
But do I answer, do I fall

Call out to me, say my name
Won’t you come and ease my mind
Just to let me know you’re mine
To have your love, that’s my fame

Holding on, the touch the feel
How hard it’s been and all alone
Getting older, these old bones
But it’s all I’ve ever known
The touch of wood, the feel of steel

Yet the touch of you
I believe so warm and soft
Lighter still, gets me off
If only you would love me too

Instead this torch high off the floor
Until you love or until
I don’t love you anymore

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

A Torch of Love

2011-09-17T15:45:00.002-05:00

How I’ve carried a torch for you
A way out of the darkness, finding love
When you are much more than enough
Fearing you might be too much
But I’m sure you want the truth

The light I have seen in you
Is greater than any torch I bear
And I know you’re still there
That is why I love you

For so long I have carried this fire
Through the storms, the wind and the rain
Slings and arrows, plenty of pain
And how I am going insane
Wanting you, my one desire

Your fire has burned me
Yet I still reach out
How can I be without?
I do believe, it’s destiny

The weight, it saps my strength
Yet I keep my grip
Be it wrong, such is sin
I just can’t give in
Baby I will wait

Because you’re not so heavy
Beautiful in the dark night
Holding you, so very light
Loving you, each and every

Crackle and pop, the flame does call
Like a siren’s beautiful song
And yet it is so very wrong
For whom the bell tolls, or a gong
But do I answer, do I fall

Call out to me, say my name
Won’t you come and ease my mind
Just to let me know you’re mine
To have your love, that’s my fame

Holding on, the touch the feel
How hard it’s been and all alone
Getting older, these old bones
But it’s all I’ve ever known
The touch of wood, the feel of steel

Yet the touch of you
I believe so warm and soft
Lighter still, gets me off
If only you would love me too

Instead this torch high off the floor
Until you love or until
I don’t love you anymore

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Beefy

2011-09-14T13:15:00.001-05:00

No bones to pick… spineless
Can’t fight or escape
Insanity; their mindless
Pounds of flesh delayed
The sweet sounds of silence
Here I am a slave

Gnashing my teeth… in Hell
I can’t beat the heat
What’s after this, pray tell
Came here willing
For what, my soul to sell
How badly do I need?

To be sandwiched, a rock and the hard place
Am I really so hungry
I don’t want to stay
But I need the money
Yet to neither work nor play
Wouldn’t bother me

My goose is cooked
Better to be a live chicken than a dead duck
But chickens get fried; I look
So am I out of luck
Like it says in the good book
We’re fucked

So bite me
And don’t forget to wipe
If this is the way I leave
At least it’s with a pipe
How much shit do you really need
Hardee’s is a lie

Do I have a beef?
The way you treating me
Brother’s gotta eat
But Taco Bell’s less Beefy

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

An Open Account of Nothing

2011-09-14T13:10:00.002-05:00

Open NOSE; insert heaving and huffing
What for, how about nothing
Another day of sighing
So in love with dying
One breath of clean air
Maybe if you weren’t there
Neither you nor me
Should really breathe

Open EARS; insert sully
Talk about dirty, talk about muddy
I listen to you day by day
Dark nightmares are my someday
To hear the wish… I’d never been
So listen, hear my thoughts of sin
How I toss and turn in fear
You should know but never hear

Open EYES; insert something
Power, fame, girls, and money
I see all this but never touch
But sacrifice, indeed to love
True enough or just a trap
A fool to try; that’s why you laugh
Let me see what I desire
That’s my Hell, indeed my fire

Open ARMS; insert my mulling
Waiting for you, waiting for nothing
And even if my guard was up
Again and again I fall in love
Slings and arrows, outrageous fortune
Never enough, so many portions
Why won’t I accept the truth?
“Baby, I will wait for you”

Open MOUTH; inset nothing
Why should I bother saying something?
When my body, soul, and mind
Are my voice, are my lines
I open up to let you in
But my living is the sin
So I don’t speak, you think it’s funny
What I am; accounts for nothing

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 122 ~Six Dollar Clowns~

2011-09-14T13:05:00.004-05:00

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Hey Lady Lu...
“It’s A Good Day To Die” when you know the reason why… because of what I have become, what I didn’t have to be, no really. If you had asked me Monday what my biggest problem was I would have told you the beautiful Kelly’s voice as Kohl’s after yesterday it’s every ugly, heartless, clown at Hardee’s and yeah who am I to be calling anyone ugly?

What I have become is what I am now calling a Six Dollar Clown and that price is too high, not to mention that everything I have been taught in the past few days by them is complete bullshit. Now I didn’t have to be this Luna, I have a pretty decent job at Kohl’s but it’s the fear, the desire, and these times; who the Hell am I too be complaining I have two jobs that pay while so many others are struggling just to find one. For the first time in a long time I had a choice about where to go and what to do and other than some money in my pocket what have I really received other than lots and lots of “Hearing Damage”.

When I got the job at Kohl’s I’ll admit I felt better or maybe I just honestly wished to feel better at then I get the job at Hardee’s and I feel a million times worse. Kelly isn’t bad and I wasn’t lying about her being beautiful but don’t worry I’m not in love; the things I want to do to her though. Hardee’s let me be very clear Lady Lu… I HATE HARDEE’S; things that have made me want to kill myself… The Abomination, E. B. Erwin High School, and now Hardee’s; I don’t want to go back but I don’t have a choice unless I get fired, hell “The Road” is a better place.

So what have I learned today; I’ve been thinking about maybe I can ask to work early mornings or late nights like I did at Arby’s; I just couldn’t hold my tongue then but cleaning up for a few hours is so much better than being a cashier or having to do anything with those “people” mop, wash windows, bus tables, and please believe I am calling The Dr. Phil Show today because I can deal with any humiliation other than Hardee’s. For a final thought, be careful what you wish for, why do you think I have had a love affair with death, better than being one of these Six Dollar Clowns.

LATE

Six Dollar Clowns

Ha Ha, Oh boy
Or girl
Really the whole damn world
What will it be sir
Voices and noise

Laughing and snacking
Is it not enough?
Maybe I’m just not tough
It’s all just too much
My soul is cracking

They’re attacking
Employers yes
Employees a mess
Guests
My soul, shattering

It’s too much
The noise
No joy
Call me a scared little boy
As you serve and eat your mush

Wearing tin grins
Throwing away your trash
Blow it out your ass
And you wonder why I’m sad
Because in the end…

To shout out
I can only stand around
Be bound
Another one of you six dollar clowns
Early clock out

Six dollar clown
But I’m not happy
It’s maddening
Working for Hardee’s
A fool, a lose, a nothing, I wear a frown

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Six Dollar Clowns

2011-09-14T13:05:00.001-05:00

Ha Ha, Oh boy
Or girl
Really the whole damn world
What will it be sir
Voices and noise

Laughing and snacking
Is it not enough?
Maybe I’m just not tough
It’s all just too much
My soul is cracking

They’re attacking
Employers yes
Employees a mess
Guests
My soul, shattering

It’s too much
The noise
No joy
Call me a scared little boy
As you serve and eat your mush

Wearing tin grins
Throwing away your trash
Blow it out your ass
And you wonder why I’m sad
Because in the end…

To shout out
I can only stand around
Be bound
Another one of you six dollar clowns
Early clock out

Six dollar clown
But I’m not happy
It’s maddening
Working for Hardee’s
A fool, a lose, a nothing, I wear a frown

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

See LOVE Elsewhere

2011-09-10T15:20:00.003-05:00

Saturday, September 10, 2011

See LOVE Elsewhere
When it comes to you loving me “See LOVE Elsewhere” but when it comes to me loving you it’s always here and now; in “Everything I Do” Now do I want to promise I would never look at another girl, I can promise that I will never look upon another girl with such a love as I have for you.

I do believe there is such a thing as love at first sight, of course there is lust at first sight but why is it some girls I forget and others I remember, why is it that I’m still looking for you? Maybe I’m no better than the religious, blinded by such thoughts of God and I am blinded by such thoughts of love, I might need to take a good look around. I like to think of myself as persistent but girls call me obsessed, perverted, and even a stalker but I look at you, I look at me, I see us but really who can see all of love right; it’s wrong to try I think.

If a girl asked me to I would destroy this blog, as you see it doesn’t take much for a pretty girl to gain my attention but to look upon her with love… to look upon you with love, I don’t even know where to begin. If you’re my girl though, to look at you not just with my eyes but with my heart; I have to admit scares me, I just said trying to see too much is wrong but isn’t it more wrong knowing what ever girl does to me and trying to see the best in you? This might not even be an offer because gaining my attention is the easy part but it’s all I have for today and what girl doesn’t want to be looked upon as beautiful and loved?

If I shut my eyes right now I would still see you, a dream, I can imagine, I can pretend but in the end what is it I see? I see love in you but when we finally meet what then… would be far better if we were both blind, no need to “See LOVE Elsewhere”.

See LOVE Elsewhere

See above
No I don’t mean God
Or your name in lights
But me
Tonight
Maybe not
This love

See below
You won’t fall angel
So high above me
All I do is fall
And that’s why you leave
Cupid I’d like to strangle
Nowhere only we know

See left
Am I wrong?
Too rigid, too free
Who I am, what I am
I can only be me
Captured by your siren’s song
Of your love bereft

See right
Never ever
It’s not enough
A sacrifice of one
I’m the only one in love
Alone forever
Better to never see your light

See inside
No only without
You
When you look at me
Outside you take as truth
Not too much amount
Didn’t say goodbye

See outside
The words
A mess
Wipe away
Thoughts of sex
You pretty girl
Sigh

See LOVE Elsewhere
Just not in me

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Reflective Erection

2011-09-10T15:05:00.003-05:00

Two become one, shapes and shadows
More than our bodies, knocked down Dial
This is so public, everyone knows
Is this a sin, why do we smile?
It doesn’t matter, lost in love so
How we’re reflected, a mile worth of tile

Isn’t this fun, the drips and the drops
Two of us doing, what Cupid’s orders
Here and now, you’re so damn hot
Who’s your daddy, you’re not my daughter
Loving you… how can I stop
The look of our bodies, reflected in water

Backwards and forwards, right and left
Lovers are longing; love is too fast
Heaving and huffing, catching our breath
Making love… getting some ass
It’s not over, no not yet
The two of us reflected in glass

A look to the door, just me and you
Seeing each other, we can’t deny
These feelings inside and what we do
Making love, sometimes outside
We look at ourselves we both know the truth
Love is reflected, in our eyes

A love we shouldn’t have to hide
On the inside, wherever we are
Should be restricted, should love be denied?
For we couldn’t wait to be in the dark
I am yours and you are mine
This is the time, inside our hearts

Let love be seen, in voyeurs reflected
Lust and love, Cupid’s direction
Freaky, perverted, call it eclectic
Passion, desire, love, and affection
How bad I want to see you naked
To see in your eyes my reflective erection

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Surprising Eyes

2011-09-10T15:00:00.001-05:00

A look that I will dare
I have to stop and stare
Lost and mesmerized
Your beauty in my eyes

Eyes surprise, surprise
Your dress, your breasts, and thighs
Call it lust, desire
But what I am admires
Something more inside
Who knew the heart had eyes

Eyes that can’t deny
The way I feel inside
Heart skips and then it thumps
Don’t want to hide or run
To know of love and who am I
It’s you I love within these eyes

Eyes to see you with tonight
And tomorrow in the light
No walk of shame, don’t walk away
Just stay with me, right here to lay
Rumble and tumble, “ooh” and “oh my”
How to keep you, in my eyes

Eyes for my princess, am I a knight
Worth fighting for but love’s not a fight
Loving you brings joy to my heart
Love’s what I see, love is an art
It’s sacrifice and compromise
Can you see love, here in my eyes?

Eyes that see you; my love and my light
Hoping you’ll love me, someday you might
Not just this darkness or all of my dreams
Maybe someday lie right beside me
Only a hi and never goodbye
Because I’ll see love, someday in your eyes

Love at first sight, a second look
Falling in love, that’s all it took
But you look at me with such beautiful eyes
What do you see, surprise, surprise

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

See LOVE Elsewhere

2011-09-10T14:55:00.000-05:00

See above
No I don’t mean God
Or your name in lights
But me
Tonight
Maybe not
This love

See below
You won’t fall angel
So high above me
All I do is fall
And that’s why you leave
Cupid I’d like to strangle
Nowhere only we know

See left
Am I wrong?
Too rigid, too free
Who I am, what I am
I can only be me
Captured by your siren’s song
Of your love bereft

See right
Never ever
It’s not enough
A sacrifice of one
I’m the only one in love
Alone forever
Better to never see your light

See inside
No only without
You
When you look at me
Outside you take as truth
Not too much amount
Didn’t say goodbye

See outside
The words
A mess
Wipe away
Thoughts of sex
You pretty girl
Sigh

See LOVE Elsewhere
Just not in me

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

A Lovely Death

2011-09-05T13:35:00.001-05:00

It’s venom I’ve never tasted
But with thoughts of a drop
I remain wasted
My cup filled to the top
Yet not sated
You’re so damn hot

It’s a blade I’ve never felt
But when you I see
I melt
And I bleed
Damn I wish I was someone else
Worthy of thee

It’s a scent I’ve never breathed
Yet such a perfume
Makes me hunger and need
I swoon
Intoxicating
The want of you

It’s an opiate I’ve never swallowed
But you’re so damn high
And I have no choice but to follow
As you fly
Yet I dream there is no tomorrow
Because I fall, drift, and want to die

It’s a gun I’ve never fired
Yet all I am splatters
For it’s you I desire
Words, gifts, promises don’t matter
As I lie in the muck and mire
Can I be sadder?

Why is love such a lie
You and me, what’s left?
But for me to cry
Live with what I said
I have long said goodbye
Yet the goddess whispers “not yet”
To love you is suicide
A slow but lovely kind of death

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Mad Season

2011-09-05T13:30:00.001-05:00

Mad season
A reason
Never far from the tree
Who I am, me or supposed to be

In the spring
I want and try to be
Grow, into something more
But what for
Paint with all the colors of the wind
To win is a sin
Make me grow up
I’ll never be enough

In the summer
Drowning in bummer
An over abundance
Turns into redundance
The words, the girls, the porn, and gore
I keep asking God what I’m for
All thy blessings
And I’m left guessing

How I want the twigs to snap
I want my life back
Tell me to grow
Let me go
And yet hang me
Let me swing
No reason at all
For another season

In the fall
Goodbye all
Yet there is ground beneath my feet
Chris Hassan says have a seat
Along with The Abomination
And the nation
If I wasn’t around
Where would a new fool be found?

In the winter
Buried beneath earth
Rotten and decomposed
And everyone knows
But I’m watered
Fall in love with someone’s daughter
And I rise
Surprise

Who I am, me or supposed to be
Waiting, hanging, never far from the tree
Strange fruit or give me a reason
To be here, another Mad Season

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Something Birthday

2011-09-05T13:25:00.006-05:00

Happy…
HAVE a bad day

If it’s remembered
Recognized
Memorialized
Believe the lies
Life’s appeal denied
Not the 11th guys
Damn September

Happy…
A sad moment

1984
Beers
Tears
Fears
Cheers and jeers
One too many years
What for

Happy…
POSITIVELY enlightening

Maddening
Horrified
Ostracized
Terrified
Wishing I died
Maybe tonight
How dare you ask for happy?

Happy
PLEASING Dad

Never had one of those
Fakin'
Mistake makin’
Life not takin’
God forsaken
The Abomination
I hate you the most

Happy
YEAR in the life

Existence
Giving
Drifting
But sinning
And not winning
Or living
Yet insistence

Have A Positively Pleasing Year

Something Birthday
What for
I don’t want any more

September 7th go away

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 121 ~Something Birthday~

2011-09-05T13:25:00.005-05:00

Better to finish this now than Wednesday like last week because you know what Wednesday is and I don’t want to hear it. I seem to be recalling writing some great manifesto around this time last year, hell up to a few weeks ago I was planning my suicide but on this un-day I plan to be at work… yes I said it, work and I don’t need anything else.

Speaking of things I don’t want to hear, how about my brakes groaning, you know fate can be a real bitch sometimes, just like Susan, Chrissy, or pretty much any other girl that I ever had feelings for. I can hear what money I have draining away, or what about the phone ringing for yet another job I don’t want but I might end up getting… hell it worked for Kohl’s and that store is much better than working for Hardee’s but I might not have a choice I need the money. Finally it’s my heart breaking once again or what about police siren’s I’ve been visiting that website Motherless… yeah Luna I’ve gotten over the fear I told you about.

Now I mentioned my manifesto but I’m not going to look it up, besides it didn’t change anything and I ask why am I a writer if I can change nothing; Luna “ I Think We’re Alone Now”. I can’t seem to recall how I was going to try and kill myself… again, the moment I got my job at Kohl’s I actually felt safe but you know The Abomination, if the question comes I’m ready but I want to keep this to myself. Kohl’s, hell I was so psyched and I saw myself on the schedule but I’m going to need way more hours, I need money, and with that comes everything else.

So what have I learned today… that every year like everyday, just gets worst and while “I Wish” that twenty-seven will be different it’s still a year too many in my book. For a final thought, I have a job, I have money, and if last year is any indication I might get through the seventh unscathed, yeah quite a Something Birthday.

LATE

Something Birthday

Happy…
HAVE a bad day

If it’s remembered
Recognized
Memorialized
Believe the lies
Life’s appeal denied
Not the 11th guys
Damn September

Happy…
A sad moment

1984
Beers
Tears
Fears
Cheers and jeers
One too many years
What for

Happy…
POSITIVELY enlightening

Maddening
Horrified
Ostracized
Terrified
Wishing I died
Maybe tonight
How dare you ask for happy?

Happy
PLEASING Dad

Never had one of those
Fakin'
Mistake makin’
Life not takin’
God forsaken
The Abomination
I hate you the most

Happy
YEAR in the life

Existence
Giving
Drifting
But sinning
And not winning
Or living
Yet insistence

Have A Positively Pleasing Year

Something Birthday
What for
I don’t want any more

September 7th go away

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Where The Sun Does Shine... After

2011-09-03T13:00:00.006-05:00

After a kiss
There’s my face

How I am filled with joy and bliss
Which can’t be dismissed
Because of your taste
Outside, it’s not too late
To live… and exist

After clothes discarded
There’s my skin

As if the clouds departed
A party started
Call it a sin
To feel the wind
This love, we’re artist

After eyes see the new day
There’s my dream

No not today
You’re real babe
My queen
Without her finery
And we lay

After a night
There’s my blanket

Lost in the light
As I held you tight
Take it
We’re naked
Not cold tonight

After I fell in love
There’s my heart

You are enough
The girl I’m dreaming of
No more scars
My light in the dark
I love…

You I’ve been after
A lovely chapter
Lived out in the sun
The light is us
Living happily ever after

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

The Lover Is Falling

2011-09-03T12:55:00.002-05:00

A whole new world to see
With the sky falling
For you to fall in love with me

Sun, my light… hotter and brighter
Drawing closer with your desire
Burning and yearning, like a flame
Is this love or just a game?
How I wish to hold you tight
Today, tonight, the morning light
Too much to ask to be your world
Like asking you to be my girl

Soft and round, my head on the Clouds
Just to lay, I want you around
Lookup your beautiful eyes to see
Not scared, not searching, not wondering
But to know someday I might
See your shape in dark of night
Only you I’m dreaming of
Hoping you might fall in love

Moon and swoon the oceans’ tides
To be with me, to lie beside
The two of us, between the sheets
Waters rush and waters meet
Only to crash, only to turn
Is this love, I have to learn
Who we are into the dark
You found your way into my heart

I wish and wish, upon a Star
When will I say, “Here you are”
Waiting for you, all this time
Maybe someday, you will be mine
And the stars will fall to ground
My love for you, not lost but found
In the stars they say it’s written
But how is that… our love’s not in it

The Sky is falling… no not yet
You and I we haven’t met
At least the way that lovers do
But I know that I love you
And for you to love me back
I know that this must be a fact
Perhaps the world must meet its end
For us to ever be more than friends

Let the sky just come falling
You my love to ever see
For you to fall in love with me

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

A Groovy Time of Love

2011-09-03T12:50:00.004-05:00

Saturday, September 3, 2011

A Groovy Time of Love
“A Groovy Kind of Love” is what I’m after along with time and what I mean when I say that is I want a love that goes everywhere, in the light, and is free. I know I should be more specific with you but seeing as how I have been somewhat public lately, in the sunshine, and in-store my confidence has been raised… somewhat.

I walk my dog Braxton and I don’t worry about how I look, what people will think, or what danger might be out there because I know I can protect him and I know he somewhat tolerates me; why can’t you be the same way except I want you to love me. How I have felt the light against my bare skin and yet I feel so ashamed like everyone know me when I walk into a place; I don’t want to be something you’re ashamed of alone and surrounded in the light I want that feeling of freedom. Now I know there is no such thing as true freedom but at all times I have to be free to be myself and know that you can see me, feel me, and that you can trust me.

I went to the library yesterday and usually I’m incognito; shades on and hood pulled up but I let the light hit my eyes to get a better look at this hot librarian… Susan. The feeling of being comfortable, of being cool and I mean both cool in body and attitude beneath her gaze and the light is what I want. There has to come a time when love is easy, comfortable, and cool; to think I want it so badly but I exist in darkness and I don’t want to fear the light, I don’t want to fear you.

I like it with the light on… like I would even know but I’m willing to give it a shot but of course the beautiful already live in the light, at least physically. I’m “Infected” with loneliness and I want to go outside but will you be there waiting for me, A Groovy Time of Love.

A Groovy Time of Love

Twilight
Love is
Today, Tomorrow, Tonight
And we exist
In this light
Call it bliss

Sunlight
Love is
Warm and bright
And I don’t want to miss
You tonight
But there’s a list

Moonlight
Love is
Bodies alight
A day dismissed
Hold on tight
Miss

Starlight
Love is
A wish tonight
Staring out with a kiss
With all my might
I wish

Twilight
More than a movie
Sunlight
Would you see me?
Moonlight
Make love, you think
Starlight
If love is groovy

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

A Groovy Time of Love

2011-09-03T12:50:00.002-05:00

Twilight
Love is
Today, Tomorrow, Tonight
And we exist
In this light
Call it bliss

Sunlight
Love is
Warm and bright
And I don’t want to miss
You tonight
But there’s a list

Moonlight
Love is
Bodies alight
A day dismissed
Hold on tight
Miss

Starlight
Love is
A wish tonight
Staring out with a kiss
With all my might
I wish

Twilight
More than a movie
Sunlight
Would you see me?
Moonlight
Make love, you think
Starlight
If love is groovy

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

My Heart's First Bind

2011-08-31T11:45:00.002-05:00

The first time I saw you
Shakespeare, right
But it was the truth
Saw true beauty this night
Denied it but I knew
This was love at first sight

The first smile you ever gave me
Erased the long miles
Brought me thoughts of we
A day a month, awhile
How I thought quite possibly
Together we would smile

The first kiss was only blown
So many but one for me
And how such love was sown
I wanted us to be
Though my lips had never known
Only on the screen

The first night I wished forever
But only just a dream
Yet to be together
Would have given anything
I dreamed my life was better
If I could make you sing

The first I and thought the last
You and me to we
All that’s in the past
We could never be
My heart thrown in the trash
Nothing more to see

Firsts I wonder why
I knew it wouldn’t last
But why do I still cry
And I still love your ass

In love and yet forbidden
No you won’t be mine
To love you is a sin
A first, My Heart’s First Bind

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

The First Impressionist

2011-08-31T11:40:00.003-05:00

The first impressionist
A guess
As to how I will be perceived
Me
What I am
And what lands
Against life’s canvas
But the truth is

The joker made joke
Because I choke
On any reason of mine
And become the punch line
My smile a tool
That makes me look like a fool
I am made jester
Laughter not treasured

The power… I cower
Neither now nor any hour
Do I rule or decide
I’m waiting on death to die
Thunderstruck
And I’m caught up
Being a slave
Everyday

The artist made picture
And I’m not any richer
A picture worth a thousand words
Millions meant nothing to the pretty girl
Siren’s song sung
I should have run
As for today
I’m not even part of the play

The player being played
Not making love or laid
Chivalrous
Yet Cupid missed
Nice guys finish last
Both good and bad
Which am I to be?
She never did see

The lover made other
Not man but beast, girls shudder
I’ve been in love, at least I think
As the song goes “love stinks”
And yet the funk
Makes me a punk
Because I can’t help myself
And so I want to be somebody else

An impressionist
A guess
As to what I should be
If more than me
Because the first impression
Is always the wrong direction
This impressionist
The truth is…

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

The I Don't Knows of First

2011-08-31T11:35:00.001-05:00

Where do we go… from here?
What do I mean we?
There’s only me
Who I want to be
And the fear
You sneer
The sky’s the limit
But I’ve never been in it
To win is a sin
Do I want to be here?

Or there
Having to look up
Not being so tough
Trying, not hard enough
Was I scared?
Too often told, “Beware”
One plus one is two
Me and you
But I have to lose
Would you still care?

If I wasn’t number one
This face
Another race
What a waste
Because when it’s done
Maybe better if I hadn’t run
In the end
As it always has been
The end
Does it matter if I’m not number one?

Such is my thirst
My fear of loving you, my curse
The I don’t knows of first

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Lesson 120 ~The I Don't Knows of First~

2011-08-31T09:35:00.000-05:00

It’s like my first time all over again but we both know the truth about that don’t we; anyway I guess congratulations are in order, I got a job working at Kohl’s and it’s as if this is the first time I have ever done anything for myself or to myself. I must admit it feels different not being second or last, don’t get me wrong I’m still a loser but it’s scary finally having to chart my own course through life.

Luna I have dreamed of having some sort of power over my existence but how do they say, with great power comes great responsibility; that’s what it is being the “Hero” instead of the villain… how I want to be the villain. Another way of looking at it is that I just got a few more bosses, at least theses bosses are paying me in something other than the want for my own self destruction; hell they gave me my life back. Sure I’m still hurting, I’m not who I think I should be but it all comes back to The Abomination; if I was able to eek out an existence with such a thing then Kohl’s is a paradise.

Which way is up, I was just thinking that, on one hand I was going to say I was always looking up at who was first, on the other I look down and I still see me; maybe I’m just looking straight ahead now. Something else we both know the truth about but I lie and say I’m “Still Unbroken” if anything I’m not dead yet and I’m finally standing on my feet. Why should I be afraid to do this Luna… you know what happens when the oppressed go to raise their heads and yet I fear the mere act of doing so?

So what have I learned today… that going somewhere means leaving elsewhere and it sucks, it’s scary, but I’m hoping where we’re going is better that where we’ve been; my “Blaze of Glory” will just have to wait. My final thought, I want more but when I finally make it wherever, what will I see when I’m finally not the one who’s down, The I Don’t Knows of First.

LATE

The I Don't Knows of First

Where do we go… from here?
What do I mean we?
There’s only me
Who I want to be
And the fear
You sneer
The sky’s the limit
But I’ve never been in it
To win is a sin
Do I want to be here?

Or there
Having to look up
Not being so tough
Trying, not hard enough
Was I scared?
Too often told, “Beware”
One plus one is two
Me and you
But I have to lose
Would you still care?

If I wasn’t number one
This face
Another race
What a waste
Because when it’s done
Maybe better if I hadn’t run
In the end
As it always has been
The end
Does it matter if I’m not number one?

Such is my thirst
My fear of loving you, my curse
The I don’t knows of first

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Pillow... Case

2011-08-27T14:05:00.003-05:00

Time… maybe today, tonight, or someday
Love at first sight
Yet I say “yeah right”
For me it was too late

Maybe it was too soon
The words
Pretty girl
Beauty and the nerd
But I was doomed

Weapon… smart, beautiful, and funny
The beauty in your eyes
Your sexy thighs
Maybe it was just your yes honey

And my guard was down
I let you into my house
You a cat and me a mouse
Please stay; don’t get out
The song “I Want You Around”

Crime… only love
You and I
How I hope I’m right
If I were enough

Of a victim
Taking
Creating
Making
Why choose me, not him?

Evidence… it’s everywhere
Not difficult to detect
Even on the Internet
We just didn’t care

Only you and me
And I was gone
Maybe wrong
Sailing to your siren’s song
So happy

Bodies… together
Showing off our sin
I would never say, “you win”
But whatever

A moment a kiss
Beneath the trees, inside the car
In my bed; beneath the stars
Wherever we are
You and me… case dismissed

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Shore Love

2011-08-27T14:00:00.000-05:00

Shore love
I sure burn
For your touch
But do I yearn
Far too much
Never to learn

That though I reach out
I’m here and you’re there
What I am about
Is the scent of your hair
Your beautiful smile
And how I cannot bear
The long miles
Who, what, and where

The cold swim
That I would gladly take
But is thought of as sin
Oh but to make
Love
To swim with you
Clothes, blankets, anywhere a flood
If only I could reach you

How you sit so high
My angel
Once upon a pedestal, you fly
And I dangle
Somethings never change
But fly away into the blue
Out of my league, out of my range
I will still love you

But it’s not enough
So far away
Yet is it too much
Don’t want to stay
For what is love
Only my way

Though it is not sure
Wanting you, wanting to touch
There is no cure
For shore love

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Shaky Delivery

2011-08-27T13:55:00.004-05:00

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Shaky Delivery
As if you were the scorpion and I was the toad because don’t I already know what you’re going to do to me? Usually it’s the other way around, now I wouldn’t mind a girl going down with me or on me, it’s usually the thought that I might hurt you… who me?

If it’s anything this week has taught me it’s be careful what you wish for because you just might get it so let’s stick to the positive, let’s say I win you. I don’t know if I have what it takes to keep you, maybe Chrissy can tell you, how many poems did I write to her, how much was wasted, and what will be the final result? Another thing is the fact that I don’t how to be your boyfriend, your man, hell maybe even a man, and that fear might drive you away because either way it goes you are going to leave me or you’ll never be with me to begin with.

It’s the lack of the love in my life I think that has driven me to such crazy commits to what I think love should be; sex in the woods, making a sex tape, and yes the freaky and the deaky. I won’t lie, I got this job a few days ago and there’s this girl Sarah, just looking at her I can imagine the things I want to do to her in Receiving and I know she’s married but I can dream right. The thing is most dreams do not come true and even the dreams that are possible, what will it take to convince you I won’t hurt you… much.

So I want you but I’m so afraid of having you; shooting and yet hoping I don’t hit anything because as the saying goes “you always hurt the ones you love” Who am I, only me, only the thing that you have been reading about, hopefully… what I want to do is love you, it’s what I do.

Shaky Delivery

Shake, with thoughts of a mistake
But this shot I must take
To love you
My aim is true
At you my desire
I fire

Quiver half empty or half full
Not some joke I pull
But the stings of your heart
To be wherever you are
One chance, one shot, one arrow
If I could be your fellow

~~~

Shake, for a moment in time
When I am yours and you are mine
Fear, concentration, and anticipation
Titillation, creation, and exaltation
Circle, circle, dot, dot
You’re beautiful; you’re so damn hot

Quiver full of love
It’s not enough
Just one night of fun
Only you to be the one
And I’ll never be empty
Tempting…

~~~

Shake, do I today?
Not if you stay
As long as you’re here
My one fear
That someday I’ll miss
Your kiss

Quiver and shiver
I hope Cupid will deliver
This love
Because
I’ve had my shot
But here you’re not

~~~

Shake me my dear
To love this year
How long must I wait
For a taste
I shiver
Heart, mind, and soul, even my liver
Cupid; your bow and quiver
The girl I love, please deliver

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Shaky Delivery

2011-08-27T13:55:00.002-05:00

Shake, with thoughts of a mistake
But this shot I must take
To love you
My aim is true
At you my desire
I fire

Quiver half empty or half full
Not some joke I pull
But the stings of your heart
To be wherever you are
One chance, one shot, one arrow
If I could be your fellow

~~~

Shake, for a moment in time
When I am yours and you are mine
Fear, concentration, and anticipation
Titillation, creation, and exaltation
Circle, circle, dot, dot
You’re beautiful; you’re so damn hot

Quiver full of love
It’s not enough
Just one night of fun
Only you to be the one
And I’ll never be empty
Tempting…

~~~

Shake, do I today?
Not if you stay
As long as you’re here
My one fear
That someday I’ll miss
Your kiss

Quiver and shiver
I hope Cupid will deliver
This love
Because
I’ve had my shot
But here you’re not

~~~

Shake me my dear
To love this year
How long must I wait
For a taste
I shiver
Heart, mind, and soul, even my liver
Cupid; your bow and quiver
The girl I love, please deliver

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.